Talking about mental health as a man: warning signs and where to get help

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Many men grow up believing they should handle problems alone, keep going and not make a fuss. That attitude can get you through a hard week, but it can also keep you struggling in silence for months. Talking about how you feel is not weakness. It is often the first step to feeling better. This guide is general information, not a diagnosis. If you are worried about yourself or someone else, speak to a GP or one of the services below.

Why this matters for men

In the UK, around three-quarters of suicides are men, a pattern the Office for National Statistics has recorded for many years. Men are also less likely than women to ask for help with their mental health. That gap is one of the reasons charities and the NHS put so much effort into reaching men.

Signs that may point to a problem

Mental health problems in men do not always look like sadness. Common signs include:

Irritability, anger or a short fuse that is out of character
Drinking more, using drugs or gambling to cope
Withdrawing from friends, family and things you used to enjoy
Sleep changes, such as lying awake, waking very early or sleeping much more
Feeling numb, flat or hopeless, or that nothing matters
Working constantly or taking risks to avoid thinking
Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach problems or constant tiredness
Constant worry or a sense of dread you cannot switch off

Everyone has bad days. If several of these last for more than a couple of weeks, or are affecting your work, relationships or health, it is time to talk to someone.

Getting started with talking

Pick one person. A friend, partner, family member or colleague you trust.
Keep it simple. Saying you have been struggling lately and want to talk is enough.
Choose an easy setting. Many men find it easier to talk while walking, driving or doing something side by side.
You do not need answers. Being heard is often a relief on its own.

Where to get help in the UK

Your GP. They can talk through what is going on, check for physical causes, and discuss options such as talking therapies or medication. You can ask for a longer appointment.
NHS Talking Therapies (England). You can usually refer yourself, without seeing a GP first, for help with common problems such as anxiety and depression. Search for your local service on the NHS website.
Samaritans. Call 116 123 free, any time of day or night, to talk to a trained volunteer about anything.
Shout. Text SHOUT to 85258 for free, confidential support by text, at any time.
CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably). A charity focused on suicide prevention, with a free helpline on 0800 58 58 58 and webchat, open from 5pm to midnight every day.
NHS 111. In England, call 111 and choose the mental health option for urgent support from your local NHS crisis service.

Outside the UK, local health services and crisis lines offer similar help.

In an emergency

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, or you feel you might act on thoughts of suicide, call 999 or go to A&E. You will not be wasting anyone's time.

Supporting a mate

If you are worried about a friend:

Ask directly. How are you really doing? Ask twice if the first answer is a quick fine.
Listen more than you talk. Avoid jumping to advice.
Ask about suicide if you are worried. Asking someone directly whether they are thinking about suicide does not put the idea in their head, and it can be a relief to be asked.
Help them take the next step, such as booking a GP appointment or calling a helpline together.
Keep checking in. A message a few days later shows you meant it.

Looking after yourself day to day

Sleep, physical activity, time outdoors, cutting back on alcohol and staying connected with people all help. They are not a replacement for treatment when you need it, but they make a difference. If you feel able, share in the comments what has helped you through a tough time.