Staying safe on first dates and when travelling alone: practical habits

TUREFF• •0

Most first dates and solo trips are perfectly enjoyable, and a few simple habits mean you can relax into them. None of this is about blaming anyone for what someone else might do. It is about keeping control of your own plans and having a way out if you need one.

Before a first date

Do a little research. Check that the person's name, photos and job seem consistent. A quick search or a short video call before meeting helps confirm they are who they say they are.
Keep chatting on the app at first. There is no rush to hand over your phone number, address or workplace.
Tell a friend the plan. Share who you are meeting, where and when, and agree a time to check in. Many phones let you share your live location with one trusted person for a set period.
Choose the venue yourself, or agree a public one that you know, with other people around and easy transport home.
Arrange your own travel both ways so you are never relying on your date for a lift.

On the date

Keep an eye on your drink. Buy your own, watch it being poured, and do not leave it unattended. If you suddenly feel much drunker than you should, tell bar staff or a friend straight away.
Know your limits and pace yourself.
Keep your phone charged and within reach.
Trust your instincts. If something feels off, you can leave. You do not owe anyone an explanation or a second drink.
Use the venue. Many bars in the UK take part in schemes such as Ask for Angela, where asking for Angela at the bar tells staff you feel unsafe and need discreet help. Even where there is no scheme, staff can usually call you a taxi or let you wait somewhere safe.

Red flags worth noticing

Pushing for personal details, such as your address, very early on
Pressure to move somewhere private or to change plans at the last minute
Ignoring a no about anything, however small
Stories that do not add up, or anger when you ask simple questions

In England and Wales, the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, often called Clare's Law, lets you ask the police whether a partner has a record of abuse. Scotland and Northern Ireland have similar schemes.

Travelling alone

Read official travel advice for your destination before booking, and again before you go. In the UK that is the Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office travel advice.
Share your itinerary with someone at home, including accommodation addresses, and check in at agreed times.
Book your first night in advance and plan how you will get there from the airport or station, ideally arriving in daylight.
Use licensed taxis or ride apps, check the car and driver details match, and sit in the back.
Keep copies of documents. Store a photo of your passport and insurance details somewhere you can reach without your phone.
Spread your money out, with a spare card kept separately from your main one.
Learn the local emergency number and a few useful phrases.
Be vague with strangers about where you are staying and whether you are on your own.

If you need help in an emergency

In the UK, call 999. If you are on a mobile and in danger but cannot speak, the police Silent Solution lets you dial 999, stay on the line, cough or tap the handset if you can, and press 55 when prompted so the operator knows it is a genuine emergency. Pressing 55 does not automatically tell the police where you are, so give your location if you are able to. Abroad, use the local emergency number and contact the nearest embassy or consulate of your home country if you need consular help.

Afterwards

If a date or trip left you feeling uneasy, talk it through with someone you trust. If something happened that was not your choice, you can get confidential support whether or not you want to report it. Your GP, a sexual assault referral centre or a specialist helpline can explain your options. What is your best safety habit for dates or solo travel? Share it in the comments.