Korean gift etiquette: Chuseok and Seollal gift sets, funerals and what not to give

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Gifts in Korea follow quiet rules: what you give at the holidays, how much money goes in an envelope and which gifts carry an unlucky meaning. Getting them right matters most with colleagues, a partner's family and neighbours. This guide covers the occasions foreigners meet most often.

How to give and receive

Offer and accept gifts with both hands, or with the right hand supported by the left.
The recipient often does not open a gift in front of you; that is politeness, not a lack of interest.
A first polite refusal is normal. Offer again.
Presentation matters: wrapped boxes or a proper gift set look more thoughtful than something loose in a bag.

Chuseok and Seollal gift sets

Before the two big holidays, Chuseok (the autumn harvest festival) and Seollal (Lunar New Year), supermarkets and department stores fill with gift sets (선물세트). Common ones include:

Fruit: large apples and Korean pears in a box
Hanwoo (Korean beef)
Spam and canned tuna sets, which are a genuine and well-liked holiday gift
Cooking oil, sesame oil and seasoning sets
Red ginseng, honey and other health products
Shampoo, toothpaste and toiletry sets

These are given to parents, in-laws, bosses, teachers and people who have helped you during the year. Companies often give their staff a set or a holiday bonus. At Seollal, children also bow to elders and receive sebaetdon, New Year money. If the person you want to thank is a public official, a teacher or a journalist, Korea's anti-graft law limits the value of gifts they may accept, with set limits for food and for agricultural products around the holidays. Check the current limits before giving, or keep it to something small.

Weddings

At a Korean wedding, guests give cash in a white envelope rather than a present from a gift list, handed over at a reception desk at the entrance where your name and amount are recorded. How much to give depends on how close you are and whether you attend; our Korean-language guide on 축의금 covers amounts by relationship.

Funerals and condolence money

Korean funerals usually take place over about three days at a funeral hall (장례식장), often attached to a hospital. You do not need an invitation; colleagues and friends are expected to visit.

Clothes: dark, plain clothes, ideally black. Avoid bright colours and jewellery.
Condolence money (부의금 or 조의금): cash in a white envelope, given at the reception desk where you sign the guest book. Odd amounts in tens of thousands of won are customary.
At the altar: offer a white chrysanthemum or incense in front of the portrait, then bow, usually twice, or bow your head in silence if you prefer or follow another faith.
To the family: bow once to the chief mourners. Few words are needed; a quiet condolence is enough.
The meal: you will be offered food and drinks, often yukgaejang (spicy beef soup) and rice cake. It is polite to sit and eat a little.
Do not say "congratulations" or make a toast by clinking glasses.

Housewarmings

At a jibdeuri (집들이), a housewarming party, traditional gifts are:

Toilet paper: wishing that everything unrolls smoothly for the household.
Laundry detergent: wishing that wealth multiplies like bubbles.
Today, people also give practical items such as plants, candles, glasses or a kitchen gadget the hosts need. Asking the host is perfectly acceptable.

What not to give

These superstitions are taken lightly by some and seriously by others, so they are worth knowing:

Shoes to a partner: an old belief says they will walk away from you.
Anything in sets of four: the word for four sounds like the word for death.
Writing someone's name in red ink: red was traditionally used for the names of the dead.
Knives or scissors: can suggest cutting a relationship.
Handkerchiefs: associated with tears.
Chrysanthemums as a general bouquet: white ones are funeral flowers.

Small everyday gifts

Bringing a little something smooths a lot: a box of drinks or snacks when visiting someone's home, treats for the office after a trip, or rice cakes for neighbours after moving in. It is rarely expensive and almost always noticed. What gift customs surprised you in Korea? Share your questions or experiences in the comments.