Getting a toddler to sleep: bedtime routines and common sleep problems

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Few things wear a household down faster than a toddler who will not settle at night or who wakes at two in the morning ready to play. The good news is that most toddler sleep problems respond to a predictable routine and calm, consistent responses. This guide covers how much sleep toddlers need, how to build a bedtime routine, and what to do about the most common difficulties.

How much sleep do toddlers need?

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends 11 to 14 hours in every 24 hours for children aged one to two, and 10 to 13 hours for children aged three to five, naps included. These are ranges, not targets to hit exactly. A child who wakes cheerful, has energy through the day and is not falling asleep in the car every afternoon is probably getting enough. Signs that a toddler is short of sleep include frequent meltdowns late in the day, rubbing eyes, clumsiness and, oddly, becoming more hyperactive as bedtime approaches.

Building a bedtime routine

A routine works because it tells a young child's body and brain what comes next. NHS community health services commonly suggest starting a calm wind-down about an hour before bed.

Pick a consistent bedtime and keep it within about half an hour every night, weekends included.
Switch off screens at least an hour before bed. Bright, fast-moving content is stimulating, and keeping devices out of the bedroom stops them becoming part of night waking.
Follow the same sequence each night, for example bath, pyjamas, teeth, one or two stories in bed, a cuddle and lights out.
Keep the room dark, quiet and comfortably cool. A dim night light is fine if your child is afraid of the dark.
Say goodnight and leave while they are drowsy but awake, so they learn to fall asleep without you.

If bedtime has drifted late, move it earlier gradually, by around fifteen minutes every few nights, rather than all at once.

Common sleep problems

Stalling and getting out of bed Requests for another drink, another story or one more wee are normal. Build them into the routine (a drink before teeth, a toilet visit before stories) so there is less to negotiate later. If your child gets up, walk them back to bed calmly with as little conversation as possible. Keep it boring; attention, even cross attention, can become a reward. Night waking Toddlers often wake during changes such as a new sibling, starting nursery, moving house or illness. Separation anxiety is common at this age too. Reassure briefly, keep the lights low and avoid starting habits you would not want to continue every night, such as bringing them downstairs. Early rising If your child wakes at dawn, check that the room is dark enough, as summer light is a frequent cause. Some families find a simple light-up clock that changes colour at an agreed wake-up time helps a child understand when morning has really arrived. Dropping the nap Most children give up daytime naps somewhere in the preschool years. During the transition, a child may need an earlier bedtime on days without a nap, or a short period of quiet time in their room instead.

Nightmares and night terrors

They are different things.

Nightmares are bad dreams, usually in the second half of the night. Your child wakes, is frightened and can often tell you about it. Comfort them and keep it short.
Night terrors usually happen earlier in the night. The child may scream or thrash and seem awake but does not respond to you, and will not remember it in the morning. NHS guidance says not to wake or restrain them; stay close, keep them safe and let the episode pass. Night terrors are most common between about three and eight years old and most children grow out of them.

When to see a GP

Speak to your GP or health visitor if your child snores loudly most nights, pauses in breathing or gasps during sleep, has night terrors several times a night or on most nights, or if sleep problems are affecting their behaviour or your family's wellbeing. Ongoing loud snoring in particular deserves a check, as enlarged tonsils or adenoids can disrupt sleep.

Be kind to yourself

Every child has bad patches, and progress is rarely a straight line. Pick one change, stick with it for a couple of weeks, and share the load with another adult where you can. What does your family's bedtime routine look like, and what finally worked for you? Share it in the comments.